Children arguing… when do you get involved?!

When do you get involved when your child is under threat, even when the threat is coming from a 3 year old, and my boy is not even 2!!!

Lately I have found myself in extremely stressful situations…

Once for example, not so long ago, I found my poor baby on the floor of a soft play area and a vicious little girl ramming a pushchair into him, not once or twice but a fair amount of times… it was so unbearable for me to watch. Ok it was a toy pushchair, but that doesn’t excuse the action, does it?! I saw her, she definitely was doing it on purpose!!

I sat there, doing my breathing exercises, waiting for someone, ANYONE to go and tell that little girl “that’s naughty, say sorry!” Actually, her mum for example, who have been a good one… But no one came to see her, so I did… and once I got there I found myself lost for words… what should you say?? That kid wasn’t mine (thank god for that) so I couldn’t really shout at her or tell her off (not that I shout at mine… well not all the time anyway…)

So I just picked up Elliott and gave her the evil eye! Guess what, her mum gave ME the evil eye! Because she did turn up in the end, just to make sure that I wasn’t going to do anything to her precious little (bully) girl!!!

I was dying to ask where she had been all the time her girl was hurting my baby, but then… I got scared (like mum like daughter!)… Then I recognised her! She was the one sitting not far from me, who was so into her conversation with her friends, that she forgot she came with her little girl in tow!! Ok maybe I am a bit unfair, I might have done it myself… once… ok maybe twice.

So when do you get involved and how?? I am constantly asking myself. I have my head is telling me to leave them alone to sort it out and my heart is telling me I should stop this…

Here are some of the advice I have been given and that I will try to apply. I’ll report back soon!

• Whatever happens, at first stand back and observe. As long as there is no obvious danger, there is no need to get involved if the kids fighting are sorting it out among themselves. It teaches them a good lesson that in life, sometimes you have to stand for yourself alone.
• If it becomes unmanageable and they obviously need a mediator, go in. Be fair, and if you haven’t seen who started it, treat it as if both of them did and use diversion, at this age it is very easy to say “how about this boat or car instead.
• Whatever happens don’t dwell on things or make it a real issue. When they are really young their attention spam is so limited that there is no need to go on forever in explaining why they have been naughty. If it is obvious that your child bullied the other one, get him/her to apologise and move on.