Here is the truth: We CANNOT have it all

No really I mean it, this is a myth and sorry if I have destroyed your hopes of running a Multinational while baking pretty cupcakes, sewing bunting flags, attending every school events, looking pretty, manicured, without an inch of cellulite, glamorous, in a perfect amiable mood every-single-minute of the bloody day and a loving mum and wife at all times…

How?! When?! WHY?!

Honestly, why is it so hard for women our days to accept that we simply have to make choices? Why can’t we just be happy with some of it? Why do we need to prove we can do it? Because don’t fool yourself ladies, we are doing it to prove something either to someone, society or ourselves. This or we simply are masochistic freaks who really should be given compulsory therapy as we exit childhood.

Choices… that’s a big word.

We have the choice in every situation we are facing and when something is out of our hands we still have the choice to complain and dwell on it or to accept that it is the way it is and make the best of it. I honestly prefer the latter as you tend to sweat less and keep more energy to deal with things.

For us women, choosing sometime feels like giving up or failing at something we feel we want as much as the rest.

Career vs. Family life, one of the biggest choice we have to make when we become parents. Whether we give up work, choose a different career, opt for flexible hours, work fulltime in the same conditions as before or stop it altogether, the choice is almost inevitable.

No women can anticipate what a little wrinkly face will make you feel like the first time you two meet. Yet you are left having to make one of the biggest choice of your life. This career you have been working on so hard or your baby and family. What if we want both? What if we need both??

I personally NEED both. I need to express myself out of the family and my role as a mother. I am by no mean undermining my role as a mum and it will always remain my priority. That’s what I say all the time, so why am I finding it so hard to slow down professionally? Why do I feel like I am failing and very disappointed with myself if I choose to reduce the stupid amount of things I do every day? Why am I so scared of my personal future if I don’t have a professional career of my own?

My family is my priority yet I feel incomplete if I don’t have something else.

I know I am not on my own and I know there are thousands of other mums out there who feel the same and I am wondering if the reason we are so demanding with ourselves is because we have added pressure on our shoulders with of all the possibilities now offered to us.

I am at a corner.

I have a choice

Keep going and run myself to the ground, be grumpy, tired and unproductive and run the risk to collapse.

OR

Slow down professionally and accept that there are things I simply can’t do (or just not yet anyway) and preserve my physical health, be a better mum and a better wife.

Choice is made.

Thanks Grace, for opening my eyes so widely yesterday. This wonderfully wise woman and coach buddy told me this:

And on this note I encourage you greatly to join Grace on her free Teleseminar on the 14th of September, From Burnout to Brilliant, for Mums juggling business and family. I’ll be there!