That’s how I feel right now. Totally washed out.
We have arrived in the US exactly a week ago today and I am not sure I am over the jet lag just yet not mentioning the emotional rollercoaster. In the same day I can go from feeling totally elated to down to the ground wanting to curl up or run away.
I have everything that matters here with me but the feeling of not belonging is tough. I no longer belong to the UK, I haven’t belonged to France in a very long time and I don’t belong here yet. It is unsettling at best and very upsetting at worst.
Yesterday we went to see the boys’ new school and I have to admit it looks amazing. The facilities and the welcome we received was great. They start on Monday and with this I hope to regain a sense of routine we are all craving for now.
The last 8 weeks have been spend completely out of routine and we are now in a foreign environment so at least having a school schedule to stick to should help us all going back to basics.
I am waiting to find out if they qualify for school bus pickup which I am pretty sure they do because I have seen our neighbour’ son waiting for it and I know he goes to the same school. I am in two minds about that. On one hand I feel my “job” is taken away and on the other hand I know the boys will love that and it will allow them to meet kids who are at school with them and live in the neighbourhood.
Our house is fabulous! The space, oh my god, THE SPACE! we have so much of it I don’t know if we will be able to fill it in a year. I suppose that’s going to be the fun part for me and I am looking forward to it. The boys have already announced that they “NEVER” want to move out… This house is 3 times the space we used to have!
I am still shocked at the heat and humidity that strikes us every time we step outside. We spend so much time indoor or in a car that when you go out it is still the same feeling of surprise. Even the dog is not too keen and by the time we have walked around the block he is happy and ready to lie on top of one of our air vent.
I am struggling with food and flavours. I know that we have to develop new habits and discover what we like and what we don’t through trial and error but some days I find it really hard.
Slowly the surroundings are becoming familiar. What used to look like out of a movie is now looking more and more how it should be. We will get there and I know one day we will wake up feeling like everything has slotted into the right places.
In the meantime we have to go through the motion…