I can’t believe that we are already almost at the end of the Summer holidays. There are only two weeks left before the boys go back to school. This almost 3 months break has forced me to pause and think. Three months of being more present, less stressed, less busy and as a result happier have lead me to feel that maybe I need a sabbatical…
I have been self employed for 7 years (since V was born) some years have been successful, some less. Some moments have been exhilarating and exciting and some others have been painful and stressful.
Moving here last year has meant that I have had to stop and reconsider everything I had been doing to that point and being unable to work from the start has helped me redefine what I wanted to do in this world. I worked hard at it and felt I found my way.
But then happened the Summer holidays and I delighted in a much “simpler” lifestyle. One where I can spend time cooking new recipes without feeling I have other pressing matters. One where I can sit and watch my kids progress during their swimming lessons instead of being glued to my phone (catching up on a few things while I can). One where I can be creative again, without agenda or plans, just for the simple enjoyment of creating.
What if for a few months I was just me with no target except the one to make my family (me included) happier, healthier and fitter.
What if I wasn’t trying to be superwoman for once and allow my ambitions to define who I am, and instead take each day as it comes, forcing myself to watch the seasons passing and my kids growing.
I believe pride is what stops me from accepting that I need a break. The taurus in me wants to keep going until the goal is reached, except that whatever the goal, once I achieve it I aim for the next one and barely enjoy the accomplishment.
Maybe I have spent the last 7 years running after the wrong goal.
I want to write, I want to paint, I want to sketch, I want to quilt, cook, make jam and chutneys and maybe that’s what I going to do for the next few months.
Maybe I am going to allow myself to just be and breathe without planning too far ahead, with only intention to savor life in its most simple form.