Let’s talk about how you can help Niger right now!

This morning was another morning like any other morning. I woke up with the sound of one healthy happy little boy walking into our bedroom, followed by the second one shortly after.

As usual I was grumpy, because I was hot and kept being kicked in the back by these two little people trying to find themselves a place in our over crowded bed.

As usual I turned on the cartoons with the hope to quiet them a little and have a chance to slowly unfold my bruised body. I reached out for my phone in order to have my own entertainment. Like every morning Facebook is the first place I hang out, not that much has happened in my friends’ life since bedtime.

This morning I found new photos that Sian has added to her #ShareNiger album. There is something about knowing Sian and watching her report live from Niger, and it is that it becomes a reality you can almost touch. An unbearable reality.

Like a lot of us, I am not ignoring what is happening, I am simply running away from it. It hurts too much to watch the pain parents have to go through when their young child is dying of hunger.

It hurts to see people living in the most uncomfortable ways, having to struggle to even have water, let alone food. It hurts to face the fact that we are being spoilt in many ways and that our life is cluttered by things we don’t need but just want.

It hurts to feel that you are not being able to do anything about it.

And yet everyday we get on with our life. Our worries are mainly material, our health problem are taken care by some of the best healthcare system in the World.

Yet we complain. We complain that we won’t be able to water our garden and achieve lush green lawn because it didn’t rain enough. We complain because we are losing internet connection every now and then, when systems fail.

We complain because being a parent is tough and draining and exhausting. That sleepless nights are responsible for these bags that only miracle expensive cream will make vanish.

The truth is that we need to look outside of our own lives. People everywhere in the world are having it tougher one way or another.

The goal is not to dumb down anyone’s pain or reality. The aim is to make sure that no-one is left behind, that everyone is taken care of. That we all do something, something selfless, something full of positive intention and love.

This what right now the team of World Vision UK is doing.

We have a duty and it is to do anything possible to help no matter how big or small is our part, all of us together we can be so much stronger and send hunger, poverty and misery to F**CK OFF!

So come on, help exactly how you can, use your Social Media genius and your internet connection for something positive, talk about it, donate time and money, whatever is right, feels right for you!

Remember to be grateful every single day for what you are eating, drinking or spending (big or small). Remember to turn the tap off, to not over consume food, to avoid waste of any sort. Be an example for the next generation.

Photo Credit Sian To

Why did my parents fight all the time?

Couple fighting

When I was growing up my parents used to fight as bad as the neighbours next door and everytime they start fighting next door I can't help thinking of the 2 little boys growing up in that house. 

I remember the fights, the anxiety, the worry that they would hurt each other. I remember thinking "what is the point in being a couple and having children?" "what is the point of staying together in this sort of relationship…?" 

When I was about 12, I begged my mother to divorce my dad. I wanted them apart. I couldn't do what my sister was doing. She had that marvelous ability to switch off from the screams and the insults they were throwing at each other. She would pick her barbies and she would make up a world of love and fun with them. Most of the time I remember how she was trying to engage me into this world, but I was too worried and didn't want to miss a bit of the conversation. So I used to curl up on my bed and tried to listen as well as I could. Of course I heard things that children should never hear but I had to. Even now I am not sure why it was so important for me to hear the whole conversation. Maybe it was a way of being in control. Maybe it was a way of protecting them thinking that I could interfere if it ever became too bad… I am not sure… 

What I know is that I remember thinking "when I  grow up I want children, but I don't want a husband". So I used to dream that maybe I could marry someone like a long haul pilot. Yes that was my ideal man: the long travel, rarely there and probably the uniform… 

What I remember of my childhood was my mum crying regularly, always stressed and very short tempered with us. I used to hate how she would talk to us but I never stopped loving her. Now I know that was how she expressed her frustration. 

I had to grow up to understand why she never divorced and why she never did something to make it better. I used to think she was selfish for not wanting the best for us. Now I know she was doing what she thought was best for us. She wanted us to have our dad in our life but mostly she was petrified of not doing well enough for us on her own. 

Her relationship with my dad had completely knocked her confidence and her self esteem. and she believed she was nothing without a husband and a "proper married status". She was scared of being alone with 2 children. 

She divorced my dad after 28 years of marriage. She knew it would never get better or that they would never grow old together. I am not a person who dwells or regrets so my belief is that there was a reason for her to stay this long but I often wonder what it would have been like to grow up with parents who loved each other and who respected one another. And I also think of how much better her own life would have been if she had done something. 

I wish I could do something for the 2 little boys next door… 

If you are in abusive relationship, whether physical or psychological talk to someone, it can get better. You do not have to wait for years to get better. If you have children think about them too. Parents who stay together for the sake of their kids do more arm to themselves and the children than good. Don't feel guilty because you feel useless, you are not useless! If you feel like life is a black hole only YOU can find the torch to guide you to the light… 

She’s gone home…

Maman et moi corse Maman et moi St L Maman, moi et ane

I am sitting at my desk, it is 16.30 and I am sipping a tea. I am on my own…

Victor is at Super Nanny having a super nap, the sort of nap he doesn

Battle of the Blood… or just zip it Mother!

Mother and daughter My mum arrived exactly a week ago and as always the rollercoaster has had as many highs as lows in the last 7 days and 5h09 min… I love her more than anything and she truly is my best friend. I have always had that sort of amazing relationship with her. The sort of relationship most my friends envied with passion. She is my confident and the shoulder to cry on, even miles away. We have always been able to tell her everything, I mean EVERYTHING. She knew all our little secrets as well as my friends' secrets. 

I simply love her with passion, and you know when you love with passion you also fight with passion and that's what we do… quite regularly actually…

So far we have argued about how to make chocolate mousse, how I would like her to stop interfering when I am parking the car, how I would like her to STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO ALL THE TIME!!! She can't help it! She has a better way, ALL THE TIME! She tells me that she used to shut up and listen to her mum. The thing she forgets, is that I was there with her and her mum, and boy did they fight! and for the same reasons actually, so zip it Mother! 

She can't get her head round to the fact that she says "do that" and I won't, she says "don't do that" and I will. 

The problem with this is that the minute she leaves I feel guilty. I feel that she doesn't know how much I love her and how much I appreciate her help and efforts when she visits us. I want her to know that I love her, and that OK she might be better than me at the chocolate mousse , but I am still fine to park my car WITHOUT HELP OR DIRECTIONS! (well most of the time anyway…)

So this is my pledge:

From this day I will hear the commands and will obey like a good girl that (she thinks) she was with her mum. I will take her advice and do it my way when she goes, and I will not forget to tell her how much I love her all the time… 

Je t'aime Maman!

Please tell me, is it a common thing, or am I the only one stuck in this exhausting relationship with her mum?

OK I have to go… just been told to get off the computer… Yeeesss Muuummm… 

Photo credit HA! Designs, Artbyhearther