Just Reminiscing…

It was just one of those of those evenings when tv wasn’t not gripping enough and I started dipping into photos from the past.

There’s that photo that held my attention a little bit longer. That photo taken at one of those moments when life changes and you feel on top of the world.

When Victor was born, Elliott was just 16 months old and we had no clue how a big change in the shape of a new baby brother was going to affect him.

Victor’s birth was quick and straight forward and we were back home in a shot.
I remember getting home early afternoon while Elliott was still having his nap. I remember feeling anxious at how my first born and love of my life would react to this arrival in our home and into our well established family unit.

Elliott woke up and I went to get him myself. I whisked him into my arms, hugged him tighter telling him how much I love him. I also told him he had a new baby brother waiting for him downstairs and he was going to meet him now.

We got downstairs, C was holding Victor. Elliott walked towards them with a smile on his face. He sat next to them and started touching Victor very gently still smiling…

That day we sealed that bond that makes the 4 of us a team and a special one. It is also a day full of the memory of how happy and proud I was to have been partly responsible for making two very special people… my special people…

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The Walking Bus or my first job as a school volunteer…

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Today I became a vital part of a “walking bus”. I wore a high visibility jacket and walked with a group of 5 noisy but adorable little girls who were allocated to me. It was my first job as a school volunteer.

I walked with my little group leaving behind my distraught little boy who could not understand why mum was with him yet not with him. It is hard in such a little mind to understand that mummy is not paying attention to you, yet she is holding five little hands of little friends (yes I managed that!) and giving them her full attention.

He coped well enough until it was time we returned to the school and I had to leave.
Let’s just say it didn’t break just his heart…

The joys of school pickup

I love my kids and I am generally (surprisingly) excited when comes school pick up time. This year is the first when I have so many hours to myself and I think I am still in honeymoon period as I miss them badly by 3pm and can’t wait to hug them (here, I pass the bucket).

Generally though on our walk back home I turn into a donkey carrying everything and sometimes everyone, listening to someone moaning about something…

How to help manage our children reputation online

When I was growing up the closest I got to technology was my Nintendo Snoopy Tennis, which was at the time awesome as noone else I knew had it. My favourite uncle and techno whiz got it for me when I was just 6 years old.

There was no internet back then either, although us French had the Minitel.

There was no mobile phone when I was a teen and if you wanted to communicate with a friend the easiest would be the home phone which, if you were lucky was cordless, so you could take it to your bedroom and have a private conversation about who you fancied or what clothes you were going to wear for the party at the weekend.

The world couldn’t look more different 25 years later than since I was a teen.

Don’t get me wrong I love this world for all the opportunities it gives me to work and communicate with people in totally different places and for breaking the isolation you can experience when you work from home. I love the internet and I would be very hypocritical if I said the opposite considering that I write blogs, manage Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and Google + accounts (I still don’t like LinkedIn).

Every now and then I wonder how I can prepare my children for when they become active online. They are only 4 and 5 yo but lets be honest, it won’t be that long before they start asking to have accounts on social networks. Once their friends start using them they will want to as well. I am an avid user but I am not in any rush to start discovering the online world.

I have to be honest and say that generally press releases sent in mass and landing in my inbox don’t tend to attract much of my attention, except for the rare few that hit a nerve, like this one. I know it will for other parents as well.

It was written by Mark Hall of Gotjuice.co.uk and here are the tips he gives to help managing our children reputation online:

Lesson 1- On the web private information is not so private

Explain to your kids that every time they update their Facebook status, upload a photo, or send a tweet, their private information has entered the public domain.

Even if they delete the photo or remove the tweet, it is more than likely that a problem wont go away: A friend could have re-tweeted or passed on the information, a photo could have been copied onto another site, and that joke they thought might have gained a couple of new followers might rebound on them. The end result is the same – things tend to stick around for a long time in cyberspace. What your child may think is private between their friends becomes public.

Lesson 2- Your child’s activity and what they share online becomes their permanent record

Every school pupil has lived in fear of damaging their permanent record where every little thing they ever did  – good or bad – was kept in a filing cabinet in the school office.

Now there’s a new kind of permanent record – the information your child shares online, and content that mentions them,which could be used against them later on in life. University admissions, employers, even potential dates will be able to view this information and form an opinion of your child without their knowledge.

Your child needs to know what to keep private, not only about themselves, but those around them.

Lesson 3 – Play nice, children

It has never been easier to communicate. For the most part, the advantages are clear to see, but the information explosion has also seen a dramatic rise in cyber-bullying.

Insults posted on social media sites can be just as hurtful and damaging as saying and doing something in real life. Social media insults can be worse, as the damage follows both the victim and the culprit around. It will always be in their pocket on a smart phone, and because everybody is more connected, there can be no avoiding it. Understanding how their actions online affect others should play an important part in your children’s social media education.

Lesson 4 – Your child’s brand

It is simple to start monitoring your child’s name and mentions online. There are many free tools such as Google Alerts, Social Mention or even simple searches on Twitter which will both alert you and give you access to anything that is published about your child.

When it comes to your child’s online reputation, taking proactive steps should never be considered a bad idea. Educating your child early on about positive steps to take will put them ahead of the curve against many adults who still operate under the assumption that their reputation online isn’t important.

Most importantly, don’t be devious about what you are doing. Let your child know you are watching their back online, but make it clear you have no interest in invading their privacy. The concerned parent should pay just as much attention to their children’s online life as they do to their welfare in the real world. And no, there need not be tantrums.

School’s out! You can find more free helpful information on how to manage your personal reputation, or that of your business at gotjuice.co.uk/blog

You can read the full Article here .

 

Brothers

I sometime look at the two of them and feel that I couldn’t love them more than I do now or I would probably burst. Yet every time we take a new corner and I see them growing up, it seems that the amount of love and pride I have for them grows with the same measure.

Watching them together makes me the happiest mum I could ever be. They make up worlds that belong only to the two of them, they fight for their place in the pack but never hold a grudge against each other. They laugh, wrestle, whisper stories to each others from their beds in the morning, when they think that we are still asleep and won’t hear a word they say.

Soon they will be moved into separate rooms and they are looking forward to having their own space but I can feel that they are also uneasy about it.

They couldn’t be more different in temperament, but they totally complete and balance each others personality.

I am so happy they have a small age gap as it makes them best of friends and offers them a closeness that these 16 months apart allow them to have.

I am bursting with love every time I think of them and I know that this will never ever change.

 

Victor’s first day at BIG school

Dear Victor,

Today is your first day at school. Big school.

 

We have dropped you off and watched you walk with eagerness and excitment into your new classroom and I am slightly relieved that you haven’t hugged your teacher screaming in her ear “TEACHER!!” like you have been doing the last couple of time we saw her.

If I could bottle up the fizz that’s going inside you just because you are GOING TO SCHOOL I would make sure I serve you some when in a few years time, no doubt, you will give me some “dooon’t want to gooo to schooool today…”.

I am your mum, I am used to your exuberance and I love it. I just hope no one will ever remove this skill away from you by knocking your confidence.

School is a big thing for you and if I am being honest even I am surprised by how much this means to you.

This morning resembled a Christmas morning here. You came in our room at 5.50 am jumping up and down, chanting “I am going to school today!!“. Your patience has been amazing in the last week. It has been a real teaser for you to take your brother every day to school when you couldn’t stay but so desperately wanted to…

And now here we are. On a new road, a new adventure. One that will shape you, imprint memories; some good, some great and some not that good but let’s hope these will be far and few.

Watching you walk into your classroom with that oversized PE bag hanging down of you was a painful moment for me. You are my last baby and you are growing…

My darling, I can not tell you exactly how proud I am and how you amaze me. You will thrive on your new journey and your dad and I will watch, support and accompany you the best way we can.

Have fun for many years to come.

I love you,

Maman xxx

First day in Year 1

My gorgeous big boy is back at school today. First day in Year 1.
The new shoes have been excitedly pulled out of the box and he has repeated a million times last night that he would now be a “year 1“!

I am on my own with Victor who doesn’t start before next Tuesday and I am missing one. I am already counting the hours until I go to pick him up, hug him and hear all about what the day has been like. Well, what he will happily tell me because no doubt, they will have done nothing

Closing chapters and moving on…

A week ago tomorrow the boys were finishing school for the Summer and it also coincided with Summer starting in the UK. Real summer with the sun and the heat.

Since then we have spent many hours in the playground, we have been practicing reading and keywords, we have had fun with friends and there is so much more to look forward to.

I can’t believe that Elliott has already gone through a whole year in school.
These two photos were taken on the first and last day at school. It amazes me how much bigger he looks.

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The little boy who started last September has morphed into a confident boy who enjoys having long conversations, writing and playing on a computer. He has grown in so many ways but mostly has become so much more mature. He is my wise, sometime too grown up boy for his age.

Victor is so excited about starting big school next September that he could burst! He wants to learn, he wants to read and write. He wants to be like his big brother and he is ready for it.
He has outgrown his pre-school by now and I know he will thrive in Reception.

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My life in September is going to change. A lot.
I will have more time for me and to think about me. I some ways I find it exciting but in others it scares me how quickly time goes. This is the end of my boys being my babies. We are moving on another step and closing a big chapter of our lives.
We are living our life the way it is supposed to be…

The challenges of being a parent

It’s been difficult to write about this particular challenge. Partly because I have self-censured stories about the boys a lot lately (which is another matter) and also because this is a total roller coaster. One which leads me to the worse extremes and then comes crashing back down to a lovely steady flow, and each time these extremes have been reached that’s when I felt the need to write, but then it’s all good and lovely again.

Anyway I need to talk about it today, even if only to process the situation externally.

V is an adorable little boy. He loves babies, he loves animals, he loves laughing, reading, joking and playing. When he is at his best, he is my pride and joy.

But then things go pear shape for a while. Usually it is a matter of a few days or a couple of weeks at most, but they are the most draining, challenging and exhausting of days. During these days all I am thinking about are ways to tackle the phase, ways to get through to him and to make him go back to the well behaved, funny boy that I love so much.

Right now we are in tantrum phase. When I say tantrums, I mean big, explosive, awfully difficult tantrums. I am the type of mum who has adopted the no-nonsense attitude to education, so a tantrum is generally dealt with ignoring the screaming child, walking away from the mad moment until he comes down and never give in.

Anything can spark a tantrum: a sweet or a toy not allowed, a “no” to something meaningless, anything he is obviously not happy with. He is doing this at pre-school too and they too find it hard to manage.

He is pretty good at keeping his temper to himself but every now and then he will throw something or hit someone. Of course hurting anyone is not tolerated and he knows that. When I observe him, what I see is frustration and not knowing how to deal with it. I am aware of Testosterone rushes, which I think is definitely affecting him.

His school teachers are worried for when he will start school in September. They are not sure he will be ready emotionally.

I, on the other hand think that this is going to be the best move for him. I believe he needs to have proper consequences to realise that there are things that are simply not allowed. I think that he will learn to manage his emotions better because he will have to, but how can I help him in the meantime?

I am totally lost. I am not sure what is the best way to react. I lose patience a lot of the time, then hate myself for it. When he goes to bed all I can do is curl into a ball and let it all go away to be ready for it the following morning. I am on edge all the time and find myself observing him all the time to see if and when he will switch.

I know it will stop again for a while so that helps, but the constant adaptation to his behaviour is becoming hard to cope with.

What are your techniques? What do you do to manage your children behaviour, especially for pre-schooler boys?

 

Zip up!

V has learnt a new trick: zipping up his coat.

He wanted to show me and it took a while this morning to get there but it was well worth being late for school just to see the big proud smile that said “I made it!”.

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